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 Jun 27 2007, 06:24 PM
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#851
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perpecenia sa  Group: Membru de Onoare Posts: 4,432 Joined: 8-December 05 From: berbeceni Member No.: 49  |
QUOTE(Ally @ Jun 27 2007, 08:53 AM)  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/morderis.gif) |
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Jun 29 2007, 08:15 AM
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#852
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Fondator eLady.ro Group: Administrator Posts: 33,779 Joined: 7-December 05 Member No.: 5 |
O brunetă, o roşcată şi o blondă merg la un detector de minciuni. Intră bruneta:
- Eu gândesc că am o vilă în Australia! - BEEP... Minţi! Roşcata: - Eu gândesc că am o motocicletă! - BEEP... Minţi! Blonda: - Eu gândesc... - BEEP... Minţi! |
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| contraste |
Jun 29 2007, 05:33 PM
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#853
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Musafir |
O blonda vrea sa-si vinda masina dar nu i-o ia nimeni ca are peste 250.000 de kilometri la bord.Buna ei prietena o trimite la un mecanic priceput care ii aduce kilometrajul la 30.000.Peste putin ii da telefon si o intreaba : -Ai vindut rabla ? -Ce ma crezi nebuna ?!Acum ca are doar 30.000 de kilometri la bord....
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Jun 30 2007, 01:16 PM
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#854
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Fondator eLady.ro Group: Administrator Posts: 33,779 Joined: 7-December 05 Member No.: 5 |
Când va începe Foamea Mondială? Când vor începe chinezii să mănânce cu lingura. De ce e bine să meargă soacra la vot? Pentru a se obişnui cu urna. Cum au spart chinezii site-ul Pentagonului ? Fiecare a încercat câte o parolă. |
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| kary_pink |
Jul 3 2007, 09:58 AM
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#855
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Musafir |
“Disorder the Court”
Avocat: Va mai amintiti la ce ora ati examinat cadavrul? Martor: Autopsia a inceput la ora 20:30 . A: Si domnul Dennington era mort la acea ora? M: Nu, statea intins pe masa intrebandu-se de ce-i fac autopsie. .......... Avocat: Ce a rezultat din mostra de tesut vaginal? Martor: Urme de sperma. A: Sperma masculina? M: E singurul tip pe care-l cunosc. .......... Avocat: Domnule doctor, inainte de a incepe autopsia ati verificat pulsul? Martor: Nu. A: Ati verificat tensiunea arteriala? M: Nu. A: Ati verificat daca respira? M: Nu. A: Atunci este posibil ca pacientul dumneavoastra sa fi fost in viata in momentul cand ati inceput autopsia? M: Nu. A: Cum puteti fi atat de sigur de asta, domnule doctor? M: Deoarece creierul sau era intr-un borcan pe biroul meu. A: Dar pacientul nu putea, totusi, sa fie in viata? M: Acum daca stau sa ma gandesc, este posibil sa traiasca exact in momentul acesta indeplinind o functie de avocat pe cine stie unde… .......... Avocat: La ce distanta se aflau vehiculele in momentul coliziunii? ........... Avocat: Domnule doctor, cate autopsii ati efectuat pe cadavre? Martor: Toate autopsiile mele le-am efectuat pe cadavre. |
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| fortelady |
Jul 14 2007, 07:05 PM
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#856
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Musafir |
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Jul 14 2007, 07:22 PM
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#857
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V.I.P. Group: Membru de Onoare Posts: 8,980 Joined: 12-January 06 From: Six feet from the edge Member No.: 146 |
Moaaa, ce tare! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/morderis.gif) Eu una as omori o femeie din asta. La cat sunt eu de rea de somn (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
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Jul 14 2007, 08:09 PM
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#858
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V.I.P. Group: Editorialist Posts: 3,356 Joined: 2-January 07 From: Craiova Member No.: 924 |
moahaha (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
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| contraste |
Jul 15 2007, 07:43 AM
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#859
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Musafir |
La vama, masina unui arab e perchezitionata in cele mai mici detalii pana cand deja exasperat, vamesul gaseste o punga cu praf alb. O desface tacticos in fata arabului, trage o limba zemoasa prin continut si ranjind catre arab: - Cocaina? cocaina? - Nu, antrax.
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| walpurgik |
Jul 15 2007, 06:24 PM
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#860
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Musafir |
After years of milking cows...
After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method, Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, realising his wife is out for the day, decides to test the machine on himself first. After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons." Clever lad Little 10-year-old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle, a wealthy Hampshire farm owner. One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out, ‘Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is fucking the cow!’ Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young Freddie aside, and explains that a certain amount of decorum is required. ‘You should have said, “The bull is surprising the cow” – not some filth picked up in the playground,’ he says. A few days later, Freddie comes in again as his aunt and uncle are entertaining. ‘Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!’ The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, ‘Thank you, Freddie, but surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot “surprise” more than one cow at a time, you know …’ ‘Yes, he can!’ replies his obstinate nephew. ‘He’s fucking the horse!’ |
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